Human Victory Cigar

Friday January 26th, 2007

OK.

I just finished watching the Detroit Pistons lose at home to the Washington Wizards after the worst sequence of play calling/execution I have ever witnessed. Please, spare me your suggestions that the Wizards are a darn good team. Please refrain from explaining to me how wonderful a player that darn Gilbert Arenas is, because Lord knows that I got a calendar year’s worth of that from ESPN’s play-by-play crew tonight.

None of that matters.

What we witnessed tonight is a Pistons team that has tossed crunch time execution out the window for highlight reel heroics and inept spectator-style coaching. In case you missed the crucial play that ended the Pistons chances to win this game, with under a minute remaining and the Pistons trailing by one in their own building with the Wizards in the penalty, some how a play gets called that results in the Pistons running a botched pick and roll at the top of the key (3 pt line extended) with Rasheed Wallace tossing up a badly missed 3 pt attempt which essentially sealed their fate.

Now, let’s ignore the fact that Billups had recently gotten hot…or that Prince had been having a field day with his man on the block…or that even Rasheed was having some success posting his man throughout the night.

HOW DO YOU CALL A PLAY THAT DUMB WHEN YOU’RE DOWN ONE AT HOME???

Please spare me any suggestions that perhaps the players went off script. That play HAD to have been drawn up that way or those guys are out there just doing whatever the hell they want. Either way, Saunders looks like an incapable head coach.

Trailing by one on your home floor in the bonus should NEVER, and I mean NEVER, end up with ANYONE under ANY circumstances hoisting a 3.

Options 1 - 5 should consist of the following:

1. Take the ball to the basket

2. Drive to the basket

3. Drive the lane

4. Dribble the basketball into the painted area and head toward the goal.

and

5. TAKE THE DAMNED BALL TO THE RACK!

I am getting so sick of this crap.

This team DOESN’T execute down the stretch.
They DON’T get easy buckets.
They DON’T make FTs (Howdaya like them apples?).
They DON’T defend (unless you count that fact that for half the game, the other team has the ball).
They rebounded tonight, but on most nights they DON’T and any opposing active player over 6′9″ is an All-Star.
They DON’T SCORE MORE.
They DO half-ass.
They DO rotate late on D.
They DO toss up jumper after jumper after damned jumper.
They DO act like everything is ALWAYS OK. Even when the entire sports world sees that it’s not.
They DO always tell us….’we’re still the best team in the East.’
They DO wait until AFTER everything goes wrong to find a solution instead of preparing for when things do go wrong.
They DO play zone and allow the opposition to dictate to them what comes next.
They DO run off wins against terrible teams and act like it’s proof they are still contenders.
They DO barely squeeze out last seconds wins against said ‘terrible teams’ on an almost nightly basis.
They DO act like winning 64 games last year meant something during last years playoffs and/or this season’s evaluation of the coach and his efforts to trick the fans, media, and upper management into thinking this is a contender.

They DO get on my last nerve…

…and my patience is just about gone.

If you still believe this team is a title contender the way they play most nights, enjoy your Kool-Aid, and here…have my glass too. I won’t be drinking it.